Glimpses
by EvilRegalShandyLvr21
Summary: Taking a well needed glimpse into Sharon Raydor's life, with the help of Adele's "25" album. What will we see? How will the two men she has chosen to love, change her outlook on life? *Trigger Warning* Mention of alcoholism and death in the first chapter, not major character death. Now complete with a final chapter.
1. Remedy

Hello, readers this is an experiment that was inspired by Adele's "25," it will take a glimpse into Sharon's life, and how two of the men she chose to love, changed her life for the good and the bad.

As usual, I don't own these amazing characters, I am just taking them on a ride! They will be returned to the _Duffster_! The lyrics rightfully belong to Adele and her cowriters.

The story will be told in no particular order. My muse wanted me to tell in that order which she saw fit, and since she's boss, I listened!

Slightly AU for various reasons, that will reveal themselves as you read.

Set in the past, present, and the future!

All mistakes are my own.

Enjoy!

 _ **~~~~~~~~~ERSL21~~~~~~~~~~**_

 _ **/"Come whatever I'll be the shelter that won't let the rain come through."-Remedy/**_

The day Andy called me, sobbing revealing his wife was killed in auto accident by a drink driver, I knew his sobriety was going to be tested. He tries to remain strong around Nicole and Nicholas, but when we are alone, I see the affliction written all over his being. He tries to shut me out. We argue more now. I think he wants to push me away and I will not allow him to do so. He starts unnecessary fights and I know it's just the grief talking, but tonight he took it too far.

" _Why are you here?" He growls as I stand in front of him in the kitchen._

" _Because I love you, Andy and I want to be here for you." I respond trying to not show my pain._

" _No, you're here trying to control me like always!" He shouts, loudly enough to make me take a few steps back._

" _You know what Andy, I'm going to leave. I will also pretend that grief just made you say the most disrespectful thing you've ever said to me." I say walking past him to retrieve my things trying to fight back tears._

" _Great, run away like you always do when things aren't going your way!" He shouts as I turn to look at him._

" _Goodnight, Andy." I say as I turn my face quickly so he can't see the tears beginning to fall. Opening the door quickly, but before I walk out, I turn to look at him, and he as a look of discernment and disruption written on his face. Closing the door behind myself, I walk to my car and sit there for a beat._

That was 20 minutes ago and we both need space and I am willing to give it to him, but something doesn't feel right about the way the argument ended. Sticking my key in the door, I can hear him crying. I walk into the kitchen he isn't there. Heading for the bedroom and bathroom, he isn't there. As I reach the end of the hall, I near his office, the door is cracked and I can see he is sitting on the floor with his back against the wall, cradling a picture of Amelia to his chest and a bottle of Johnny Walker sitting next to him, open. Slowly, I walk into the room, and whisper, "Andy?" He looks up with his eyes red from the tears, and breathes, "I thought you left." I shake my head no and sit down next to him and slide the bottle of Johnny away from him. Before I can even ask, he rasps, "I didn't drink it. But I would be lying if I said I didn't put it to my mouth, more than once." Rubbing his arm, I say, "I'm proud of you for not doing it. But why do you even have it?" He pulls the picture of Amelia from his chest and looks at it and reveals, "It was Amelia's reminder of the crappy husband I was. She kept it in her kitchen. She once told me, it kept her from drinking, because of what it did to our marriage and children." I can't help but sigh. "She was a wonderful wife and an amazing mother. She only kept the kids from me because she thought it was best for them, until I showed her I was willing to put in the work to get better." He reveals as I watch a few tears fall onto the picture. Nicole is the spitting image of Amelia, except Amelia had blonde hair. "She sounds like a great person." I whisper as he lays his head on my shoulder. "She was." He simply states as more tears begin to fall. Silence has taken over the room as I trace patterns along his back and place gentle kisses atop of his head. "Sharon, I'm sorry." He breathes. "For what?" I inquire as he sits up and gazes into my eyes. "You have been dealing with me grieving over my ex-wife for over two weeks now." He says. I nod yes. "It doesn't bother you, that I'm crying over my first love?" He inquires. "Andy, if you weren't grieving her, I would have to question if you were the man I thought you were. It is perfectly natural to grieve someone you used to be in love with. I'm sure you still have love in your heart for her for being the mother of your two amazing children and you will always have a tiny space in your heart for your first love, because they taught you so many lessons." I say as I see a small smile creep on his face. "I love you, Sharon." He says before pressing a light kiss to my lips. "I love you, too." I say wiping a few stranded tears from his cheeks. "Andy, just know whatever the storm called 'life' throws at you, I will be there to protect and help you, just like I know you will for me." I say as I stand up and pick up the bottle of offending liquid. "You have my word." Andy says following behind me. Walking to the kitchen, I ask, "Would you like to do the honors?" He pulls me into a side hug and says, "We can do it together. We both beat this demon." Reaching the sink, we both pour the brown liquid down the drain.

" _Just look and you will see_

 _That I will be your remedy"_


	2. Can't Let Go

**/ "Tell me was it all for the thrill…I gave you heaven on a platter baby" -Can't Let Go/**

I never thought Jackson could stoop so low, but I should have seen it coming from miles away. He suddenly began to appear at the station a lot more. Always under the ruse that he was just checking in on me and trying to be the type of husband he should have been from the beginning. Bringing me flowers and lunch multiple times a week. Writing me sweet letters and hiding them in my office. All of it was just a load of crap. He just wanted to divert my attention while he was carrying on an affair with Commander Michaels in the Central Division. How could he embarrass me like that? I have given him everything I've got. Two beautiful children, a home, a loving relationship, a fulfilling life in and outside of the bedroom, but obviously those things aren't enough. Honestly, I should have caught on to his little game a lot sooner. Every time I would see Commander Michaels, she would always smirk at me. Many times I've caught a whiff of her perfume, and it smelled familiar but I could never place it, until that fateful afternoon outside the PAB:  
 _Running back in the building to grab my purse before heading to pick up Ricky, from baseball practice, I spot a familiar man, and Commander Michaels, kissing in front of the building. Normally, I don't intrude in such private moments, but I can't look away. When the man pulls away, I realize it is my husband, Jackson Smith Raydor. I want to look away, but I just can't. I want my eyes to be deceiving me and then I realize they aren't when he laughs. I know that laugh anywhere. It was one of the things I found so attractive when we began dating in college. Walking away as fast as I can, I return to the inside of the building._

So, here we are two days after I changed the locks and filed the separation papers with the state, sitting in a mediator's office. Jack has no idea what the final straw was for me. He thinks this was a rash decision.

"Sharon, I can't believe you locked me out of our home and are keeping the kids from me." He spews from across the table.

"Jack, I'm not keeping the kids from you. That's why we are here, we need to set up a visitation arrangement. However, you need a place to live before I will allow you to keep them overnight and it is as simple as that." I simply state with the calm demeanor that he hates so much.

"I had a place to stay and that was with my family, until a few nights ago!" He screams jumping up from his seat.

"Well, Jackson you should have thought of that before you decided to have an affair with Commander Michaels." I politely inform him, causing everyone in the room's mouth's to drop. Jack looks like a deer caught in headlights, and he is speechless.

"Shar, I can…" He begins to lie, I hold up my hand and interject, "Save it. I saw it with my own eyes, no amount of your lies can change what I saw."

"Shar, I'm sorry! I didn't mean for you to find out like this." He says as he sits down in his chair across from me and reaches for my hand. I pull my hand back, and begin to shake my head before rasping, "See, Jackson that is the problem. You're not sorry for what you did, you're sorry you got caught." Looking directly in his blue eyes, I see the anger boiling over, but before he can say anything. "Mr. James, could you please continue with the proceedings? I have my daughter's ballet recital to get to and I would hate to disappoint her."

" _I gave you everything you never gave me  
I never lied and I never faked it"_


	3. Love You In The Dark

**/ "There is so much space between us/ Maybe we are already defeated. - Love You in The Dark/**

Silence has finally fallen upon us.

We both know what this means.

After a heated argument, one of the many over the last few months. Disparaging words and looks exchanged on the daily. Things said and things unsaid has brought us to this point.

…I'm tired.

…He's tired.

We both know, what we have to do, but neither one of us want to admit it.

Neither one of us are ready to face the truth, or so he thinks. Little does he know, I've been ready to face it for the past week. I don't know how much more damage to my heart, I can take. I love him and I know he loves me, but this isn't healthy.

"We need to stop this." I whisper barely audible. He looks at me, because he understands the double meaning of my chosen words.

"But we don't want to." He breathes rubbing his forehead, where he has worn more wrinkles over the past few months.

"It's not about want at this point, it's about need. Andy, all of this backwards and forwards and rocking and rolling, we have to get control of it, and I honestly believe stopping this," motioning between the both of us, "is the best decision we can make." I say as I feel the lone tear finally trickle down my left cheek. He walks up to me and he wipes the tear away from my cheek and bends to my ear, and says, "No matter what, know that I love you." He pulls back and I see the tears forming in his eyes, and I breathe, "I love you too, Andy, no matter what." He grasps my chin and pulls me into a passionate goodbye kiss. All of our love is pouring into the last thing we will have to remember our time by.

" _Don't try to change my mind  
I'm being cruel to be kind"_


	4. Lay Me Down

**/ "You can read my mind be it truth or lies."- Lay Me Down/**

Here we are months into our relationship. I won't reveal how many months. Yet, we haven't take the next step. We both can feel the heat and passion oozing between us. Every time, I think I'm ready to move forward I feel something holding me back. It has taken me awhile to figure what that something is. It's fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of us not working out. Fear of us not being able to return to this place known of companionable friendship. Fear of us never being the same, once we take the next stop. I've dreamed of, the first time we make love with each other, on multiple occasions. I've also had inner freak-outs about our relationship failing. I love him and he knows it. He has yet to push me towards anything I'm not ready for. However, I'm no idiot, a man will only wait for so long, in regards to anything but especially sex. I learned that hard lesson from Jackson. Why am I comparing Andy to Jackson? I've been doing that a lot lately. Every seed of doubt I have in my current relationship is because of my past relationship. I know I seem all put together on the outside but on the inside, I'm a mess. That's one of the things I love so much about Andy, he can tell when I just need to be myself. He truly understands the difference between the 'Captain' and 'Sharon'. I've never had someone in my life be able to distinguish the two so well. Sure, my kids know the difference between the 'Captain' and 'Momma' but I shield them from the Sharon that is vulnerable, and who is still scared from Jack. I know my children aren't blind especially, Rusty. Rusty, sees the fear in my heart, with my reluctance with my relationship with Andy. I am all in with Andy but I can't help but be scared.

"Sweetheart, what's going on in that head of yours?" He inquires as we are sitting the porch of our cabin, for the weekend, in Big Bear

Smiling, I reply, "I was just thinking."

He laughs and utters, "I'm aware. A penny for your thoughts?" He reaches over the tabletop and hands me my mug of warm tea. I smile at him and admit, "I was just thinking about the pace of our relationship."

His expression lets me know he wasn't expecting my response. Before I can further explain my thoughts he says, "Listen, Sharon I don't want you to feel like I rented this cabin to force you into anything you aren't prepared for. I just wanted celebrate and relax at the same time. I could tell you needed a small getaway. I am completely content with the pace of our relationship. I will enjoy just being able to snuggle with you all weekend."

Smiling at him, I reach for his hand and begin to caress his knuckles with my thumb, "Andy, I don't feel like you are forcing me. I just don't won't our lack of physical intimacy to hurt our relationship. I know that you will wait for me. You have been doing so for a while now. I don't feel like it's fair to continue to stall our relationship because of…" choking on the last few words. He squeezes my hand and offers me a gentle smile. The smile that always reassures me that he is the right one for me and that this relationship is the right one. "My fear that this," motioning between us, "will forever be changed once we take the step."

"Hey, look at me." He says causing me to gaze into his chestnut orbs, the mesmerizing ones that make everything in the world seem inconsequential when I peer into them. "Of course things are going to change. They will change for the better. I don't want you doubt what we have. That is the main reason why I am so comfortable with the pace of our relationship. Sharon, this relationship is going to be last. I know you feel the same way; I can see it in your eyes every time you look at me. We aren't some young kids, who are just in it for a thrill. I want to hold you until the thought of letting you go is unbearable." He muses making me tear up.

"Really? Andy you don't resent me for my incessant need to take things slowly?" I ask. He gets up from his lounge and comes to mine, as I scoot forward so he can slide behind me. Enveloping me in his arms, as I lie back against his strong chest, he says, "How can I resent something that I admire about you? I love that you do what's best for you. I've watched you over the years put others before yourself, and to see you now, making this decision just for your sanity and well-being is what I admire about you and why it doesn't bother me, we have yet to make love. I know when the time comes we will be ready and we will enjoy it." He presses a kiss atop my head. I sigh, a happy sigh. I'm speechless. How did I get so lucky to have a man who really cares. He puts my needs before his. He doesn't see my choice as a selfish or unfair one, but one that crucial to my certainty about us. As silence has fallen upon us, our hands are clasped together, I muse, "I love you, Andrew."

"Mmm, I love you too, Sharon." He whispers in my ear before placing a light kiss on my neck.

His revelation of his appreciation of my reasoning, let's me know it's time to let go of my fear and just live in the moment. Sitting up and turning around, I breathe, "Come on, let's go enjoy the Jacuzzi tub."

" _Lie down beside me_

 _Why won't you let it be?"_


	5. Send My Love (To Your New Lover)

**/"We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts."- Send My Love (To Your New Lover)/**

"Fancy, running into you here tonight." He says cradling a glass of champagne.

"Well, Jack, I do work for the LAPD, and this…" motioning around the room with her glass of Chardonnay, "is a LAPD fundraising ball." She says before taking a sip of her wine.

"Tis, true, my lady." He charmingly says, as his blue eyes travel her black and tan laced covered body. She smirks at him and breathes, "Jack, how would your girlfriend feel about you conversing with me on the balcony all alone?"

"Hmm, the same could be asked of your Lieutenant." He counters.

"Well, Jack, our relationship is solid and he has nothing to worry about. From what I hear from Emily, yours is fairly new, and I wouldn't want to cause any issues between the two of you." She breathes before taking another sip of her wine.

"Come on, Sharon, don't pretend to care." He huffs as his playful demeanor has eased away.

"I'm not pretending Jack. We had a relationship filled with issues, but we did have great moments and I know that you have some qualities about you that are amazing. Jack, I don't want you to spend the rest of your life alone. Just like I, you deserve to be happy. Granted we are divorced; I still want the best for you. You are the father of my children and I would never want to see you hurt, regardless of the past pain you inflicted upon me. I'm over all of that. You look like your happy and it looks great on you. Do I wish that we could have worked out? Sure. A part of me used to think that, because of our children, but we had to let go of our past for brighter futures." She says sitting her almost empty glass on the tabletop beside her.

"Wow, Sharon. You put a lot of thought into that. He says appearing as if he is still trying to absorb what she just revealed to him.

"Jack, one more thing. After this I promise to drop it. Do yourself a favor: treat her like she deserves to be treated. Don't put her through what you put me through. Love her, Jack. I do mean love, not use and underappreciate her." She says offering a light but stern smile.

He nods in understanding.

"Jackson, here you are." Laura says walking towards them, causing Jack and Sharon both to look up. Sharon notices Andy isn't far behind Laura.

"You must be, Sharon?" Laura says extending her hand to Sharon. Sharon accepts and shakes the appropriately aged woman's hand.

"I am. Laura, I presume?" She says as Andy walks up beside her and slides his arm around her waist.

Laura nods yes, and says, "Nice to finally meet you. I've heard wonderful things about you."

"Likewise." Sharon says as she releases Laura's hand and leans into Andy, subtly.

"Sweetheart, Chief Pope is about to make his toast to all of the officers. I'm sure you wouldn't won't to miss that." Andy says.

"You are right, honey! His toasts are always the highlight of these functions." She sarcastically rasps as Andy interlocks their fingers.

As they begin to walk away, Sharon turns to Jack and says, "Jack don't forget what we talked about."

Once she turns back around, Andy whispers, "What was that all about?"

"Just giving him a little advice that he'd be wise to utilize." She says before leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek.

" _I'm giving you up  
I've forgiven it all  
You set me free"_


	6. When We Were Young

**/"…a part of me keeps holding on." – When We Were Young/**

Sitting on the balcony of Andrea's new condo and enjoying a few glasses of wine with Sharon to celebrate her place, Andrea asked the question that has been looming in her mind for over 20 plus years, "Sharon, how did you end up back with Jack after the horrible mess he made when Emily was young?"

Sharon stays silent for a few beats and then suddenly finishes off her 2nd glass of Riesling, before responding, "Wow, you've been holding that one in for a while, haven't you?"

Andrea nods yes and takes a sip of wine and sits back in her chair, preparing for the truth from her dear friend.

"Well, I'm surprised you held it in for so long but I guess now is good of time to tell you as any." Sharon muses reaching for the bottle to pour herself another glass.

"I could always tell it was a sore subject so I tried not to broach the topic. Seeing how you have moved on and are genuinely happy, I figured I'd ask." Andrea confesses.

Sharon reclines back in her chair and takes a long sip, and closes her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she says, "Well…

 _She spotted him from across the room. She hadn't seen him in 10 months, since the day he walked out after a terrible argument they had over him not picking Emily up from daycare on time. Thinking back to the argument, she still can't believe he left because she was upset at him, for forgetting their child and costing the family more money, when they had no extra to be spending due to his gambling issues. But she be remiss to deny that she hadn't missed him, in the time he has been away. She missed him for Emily's sake. When he called her a few days later and revealed he was checking himself into a 90 day rehab, she was elated. He had promised he would return home as soon as he was sober. She had promised she would send him pictures of Emily and letters. After his three months were up, he failed to come home. She had called the facility and they confirmed he finished his treatment, successfully and that he left a forwarding address of Albuquerque, NM. She knew his brother lived there and she felt better knowing he would have a support system, but she thought she and Emily were his support system and his reasoning for getting sober. She called him, and he explained that he wanted to be sure of his sobriety before returning home to his family. After a long conversation they had agreed it was for the best. She missed him being her husband. They communicated well, while he was away, up until about two weeks ago. He suddenly stopped calling her every other night. When she would call him, he only wanted to speak with Emily. It hurt her deep, to think they were working their way back to normal and then he altered their course once again._

 _She missed his laugh. She missed his ability to make any mundane story, interesting. She missed sitting down sharing their days together. She missed watching him play tea time with Emily and actually wearing the jewelry and tiara and holding his pinky appropriately, and never once complaining about it. She missed his 'see you later' kisses. She missed the way his hands would hold her, when they would have movie nights. She missed the way he made her body feel when they made love. She missed all the good things about him. She didn't miss the gambling and lying. She definitely didn't miss the drinking. But she knew marriage was give and take. She knew nothing worth having, was easy. Most of all she knew she loved that man and she wanted with every fiber in her being, for their marriage to work. Not just for their daughter's sake or religious reasons, but for their sake._

 _Sipping on her glass of champagne, she hadn't noticed that he had made his way over to her._

" _Hello, Sharon. You look nice this evening." He muses as he cracks her a small smile and marvels at the way the navy and cream number flatters his wife's body._

" _Hi, Jack. Thank you. You look nice yourself." She says sitting her glass down, as if she is hiding it from him._

" _You are very welcome. Thank you, as well. So, how have you been?" He asks closing his bottle of water and sitting it next to her glass._

" _I've been…" She begins but halts, she feels her throat becoming a little dry. Jack intervenes, "Listen, Sharon I'm sorry for being a little distant the last few weeks. I was working some things out in my head and I didn't want to trouble you with my worries. But I promise, I have worked them all out."_

 _Sharon releases a breath she hadn't even realized she had been holding, and confesses, "Well that's good to know. Is there anything I should be concerned with?"_

" _Not at all, Shar. I was just mulling over an idea I had." He confesses reaching for her hand. She relinquishes her hand over to his gentle hold._

" _Idea?" She inquires._

 _He chuckles, before teasing, "You aren't going to let it go, are you?"_

" _Haven't you learned anything about me?" She teases back._

" _Touché, my lady. Well, my idea was…" He starts to stumble over his words and Sharon can tell it's from nervousness._

" _Jack, it's ok, we've already agreed you would move back in, once you returned to Los Angeles." She muses._

" _Shar, is not that. I'm excited to be back home with you and Emily. I was just hoping that…" He pulls a box out of his pant pocket, "you would do me the honor of marrying me, again." He breathes as she gasps, much louder than she anticipated._

 _Still silent, Jack squeezes her hand, bringing her back from her shock, "Oh, I'm sorry Jack. Of course I will!" She exclaims leaping into his arms._

" _Thank you," he whispers in her ear and places a gentle kiss on her neck, "I'm going to do better this time, I promise. You and Emily deserve my best."_

 _She pulls back and he can see the tears in her eyes and she rasps, "Thank you. I look forward to what our future holds." She places a gentle yet affirmative kiss upon his lips._

"So, that's how it all got started again." Andrea rasps before taking a bite of her cracker.

"Yep. That's also the night Ricky was conceived, or so the doctor thought." Sharon muses before taking a sip of her wine.

"Well, I know how that ended." Andrea jokes, but her tone still reflects her seriousness.

"Yep! Ricky turned two and the day after he was gone again. But hey he came back on his 5th birthday and stayed…" Sharon muses before Andrea finishes her statement, "and carried on an affair with a fellow officer! Jack really is something else."

Sharon holds her glass up and says, "Salud! To freeing myself from that man!"

Andrea picks her glass up and clinks it with Sharon's and rasps, "Salud!"

They both laugh and Sharon hears her favorite ringtone from her device, she abandoned in the kitchen.

"Be right back!" She says heading for her phone.

Andrea sits back and smiles. She is truly happy for her friend. She has found a man that treats her the way she has been longing to be treated all her life. She's also happy, because of him, she got a great deal on a condo. Now, that they live together, Sharon's place was on the market and she scooped it right up.

Sharon returns to the balcony and muses, "That was Andy he wanted to know if he needed to come pick me up."

"I hope you said yes!" Andrea teases.

"Hey now! Just because this is officially your condo now doesn't mean, I won't be staying the night whenever I feel like it!" She jokes.

"Figures! No wonder you insisted on decorating my guest room!" Andrea rasps while slathering some crab salad on her cracker.

"Well, it had to be to my standards!" Sharon retorts.

" _I'm so mad I'm getting old  
It makes me reckless"_


	7. Sweetest Devotion

**/ "Just remember that come whatever, I'll be yours all alone." -Sweetest Devotion/**

Basking in the afterglow of wedded bliss.

Enjoying their family and friends.

Soaking up the breeze from the ocean side at The Bay.

Their first dance song, lingering in the air, as he holds her as the glide across the floor.

Forgoing the huge wedding. The opted for a small ceremony at the courthouse and opted for the big reception with all of their family and friends joining them in San Francisco.

"Who would have thought we would get back here?" Andy whispers in her ear, as he pulls her closer as the song is ending.

"I knew we would find our way again." She breathes before pulling back and placing a light kiss on his lips, causing the crowd to erupt in applause.

"I'm glad we did." He muses as the kiss ends.

"Me too." She breathes as the next song comes on.

It's an upbeat tempo, but she has other plans. She pulls him from the dance floor, to a secluded corner. Everyone is making their way to the dance floor, which gives them plenty of privacy.

The reach a table that is out of view from the main area. She pushes him down to the chair.

She sits on his lap. He threads their fingers together and places a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Andy, I just wanted you know that I never once doubted that we would find our way back to each other." She breathes.

"Neither did I. I think we were both just so scared. Everything was so right, and neither one of us knew how to react to that." Andy confesses.

"Indeed. We are in this…" She places their hands over his heart, "for eternity." She muses.

"Yes, we are, no matter what, beautiful." He rasps before pulling her into a searing kiss. Half giggling, half moaning into the kiss, she pulls back and breathes on his lips, "Promise me, we will never lose our way again."

"Beautiful, I already did, when I said, 'I do.'" He confesses as she flashes him the most beautiful smile he has ever seen from her.

She encapsulates his lips in a searing kiss, both of them so entranced with the kiss that they don't notice Louie and Patrice walking up to them.

"Ye, Gods! You two are just like teenagers!" Louie rasps. Patrice slaps him on his arm, and chastises him "Louie, behave."

Sharon and Andy both jump, causing Patrice to laugh a little.

"Sorry, to intrude. We were just looking for the Flynn's so we could say congratulations one more time, before we head back to the hotel." Patrice muses.

Sharon stands up with Andy following suit, "Thank you both so much, for coming." She reaches out to hug Patrice. Andy looks at Louie with a huge smile on his face and an extended hand, "Thank you for being a huge supporter of our relationship." Louie extends his hand and says, "You are very welcome. I know I wasn't the best supporter at first, but I was just testing you to see how much you really wanted this." He says causing, Sharon and Patrice to laugh and Andy to grimace. Louie hurries to finish, "Look somebody had to be the smart one! I'm kidding!" He jokes tossing his hands in the air. "I'm really happy for the both of you, you both needed an anchor, and I'm happy to have watched you both discover each other's love and need for each other! Congratulations!" He continues.

"Well, aren't we lucky, we had you, Louie?" Sharon teases.

"Damn straight!" Louie asserts. They all laugh, before Andy muses, "Well, thank you for being our lookout."

"You are very welcome, Flynn." Louie utters as he offers Patrice his arm.

"Enjoy the rest of your night, Mr. and Mrs. Flynn." Patrice muses taking Louie's arm.

"We will. See you both at the bon voyage brunch!" Sharon says as the Provenza's begin to walk away.

"We wouldn't miss it for the world." Louie says.

As the Flynn's watch them walk away, Andy leans down to Sharon and whispers, "He has a point you know?"

Sharon turns to look at him and quirks an eyebrow and asks, "And what might that be?"

He pulls her into his side and breathes, "That we are each other's anchor."

She leans up to his lips and breathes, "Who would have thought, Louie was full of wisdom?"

He closes the gap between them, and presses their lips together, and mumbles into the kiss, "Not me."

" _You will only be eternally  
The one that I belong to  
The sweetest devotion  
Hitting me like an explosion"_


	8. Why Do You Love Me?

**/ "You are the peak and dark of my universe" – Why Do You Love Me?/**

 _Never in a million years would I think I would be ready to do this again. After Jack, I had almost given up on love. Love had failed me over and over again, and at some point along the line, I had accepted that I wasn't meant to be loved. I had allowed myself to believe that complete load of crap. I figured if the man, whom pledged to love me till death did us part, couldn't do the job, no one was capable. I just knew not being loveable was all my fault. I blamed all of Jack's issues on myself. I blamed the way he treated me on the way I presented myself to him. It took me a long time and a lot of intensive therapy sessions with an amazing therapist to finally figure out, that the problem wasn't me. Sure, I tried to tell myself constantly, it was never my fault, but I could never make myself believe it no matter how hard I tried. Even my family and friends couldn't convince me of otherwise. I was so hell bent on being right, because I relish in being right. However, this is one thing I was glad I was wrong about. My therapist Dr. Wilson, once told me that holding onto Jack's problems was hindering my true success. At that moment, I didn't quite understand her true meaning. I mean I was a successful career woman, who managed to raise two amazing and generous, mainly on my own. I was a multiple home owner, with great credit. I thought I was on the fast track to becoming Commander or even a Deputy Chief. I was happy or so I thought I was. I didn't fully grasp her meaning until I felt myself liking Andy. I always felt a hint off attraction to him. He's handsome and any woman would be a fool to not admit that. However, my initial reactions weren't always the best. I honestly, thought we had a strong dislike for each other, some would even say hate. Somehow, I realized for me it wasn't dislike, it was the exact opposite, but I kept my distance for many reasons. He was a coworker, a subordinate, a hot-head, a womanizer and an alcoholic. All those things sounded like a train wreck waiting to happen. However, I couldn't resist the pull I felt towards him. Of course it was easier when I was still in FID and he was in Major Crimes, but the pull intensified once I became the lead of Major Crimes. He was no longer a distant attraction, he was up close and personal._

 _It didn't take long for our friendship to develop organically and I think that's what makes what we have so special and rare. We didn't start this thing off with intentions. We grew to this. We grew to truly appreciate each other and understand our needs and wants from life. We had one great advantage over our past, we both had already been hurt and caused hurt, which made us aware of the paths to never venture down again. Discovering each other was not a smooth process by any means, but I don't regret a moment of it and know he doesn't either. Even the horrible rough patch we had that lasted for 3 months. The break-up that soon followed and lasted a bit longer than either one of us ever anticipated, we don't regret. The break-up made us realize, we had something worth fighting for. We realized that no matter the storm, we could get through it as long as we had each other by our sides._

 _When I informed Dr. Wilson of my newfound relationship, she congratulated me on finally being successful. At that moment, 10 years later, I finally understood the profundity of her intent. As she watched my realization dawn on my face, she reminded me of Maslow and his hierarchy. We as humans need love to be successful. It is entrenched in every fiber of our being, as humans, to want to be loved and to love. By closing the door on love, I was destroying myself, tremendously. I will forever be thankful for Andy, for helping me break down those walls and truly becoming successful._

 _Here we are 2 years into our relationship, and there is one step that we have yet to take…_

Sitting on the counter, watching him stir his infamous Alfredo sauce, while I drink new favorite wine, a thought pops into my head. If I were to be completely honest, the thought has been there for a little while, but now I'm ready to act on it.

He extends the wooden spoon to mouth and utters, "I need the sous chef's opinion."

Relishing in the taste of the delicious sauce, I can't help what comes out, "We should get married." I say after I lick my lips.

"Wow, that great!" He teases as he puts the spoon in the sink.

Laughing, I nod yes, "I'm serious Andy."

He walks up to me and nudges his way between my legs, making eye contact, he breathes, "Sharon, really?"

"Yes. I want you to be my husband and I want to be your wife." I say with my eyes trained on his for any signs of distress. He cups my cheeks, leaning closer to my face and breathes on my lips, "There is just one problem though."

"What might that be, Mr. Flynn?" I breathe barely above a whisper.

"You didn't ask me. You know I do have standards and all, seeing as to how we are old fashioned and all." He teases causing me to giggle and smack him on his chest.

"Ugh! Andrew D…" I start but I'm halted by his powerful lips encasing mine in a kiss like I've never felt before. Taking room for air, he muses, "Yes."

I pull him into another kiss and rumbles, "Wait, I have one more question." Leaning back against the counter, I quirk my eyebrow at him and he asks, "Do I get ring?" Unable to keep a straight face he begins to laugh.

"Yeah, sure we can get you Ring Pop!" I tease.

"Oh, what flavor?" He jokes.

"What ever flavor your pretty little heart desires!"

" _You were a shot in the dark that blew me away  
And you left your mark and it never will fade  
You ignited a spark, lit the fire's way"_

 _ **~~~~~~~~~ERSL21~~~~~~~~~~**_

The endings lyrics are my favorites from the said song.

Thank you for reading. I look forward to reading your nuggets of appreciation(reviews).

I hope everyone has wonderful rest of the year and good wishes to you in the new year


	9. All I Ask

As usual, I don't own these amazing characters, I am just taking them on a ride! They will be returned to the _Duffster_!

My muse felt like this story wasn't complete, so here it goes.

A/N: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the reviews on the other eight chapters. I enjoyed reading them all. They helped me get back in the groove of enjoying writing.

It's best that you read "Love You in The Dark" to get the backstory.

Rated M

Enjoy!

 _ **~~~~~~~ERSL21~~~~~~~~~**_

 _ **/**_ " _ **Give me a memory I can use/Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do/It matters how this ends/'Cause what if I never love again?"- All I Ask/**_

"You don't have to leave." Andy breathes while they stand at his front door, as the cool L.A. morning breeze washes over them.

"Yes, I do. I shouldn't have stayed last night." She utters, gazing into his eyes, trying her hardest not to shed a tear.

"Sharon, we don't have to end this." He breathes squeezing her hand, causing her to look at their conjoined hands.

"Andy…" She starts but her voice begins to falter, "we have been over this." He reaches for her chin with his other hand and tilts her face up and breathes, "I was hoping we would have changed our minds."

Shaking her head, no, as a tear begins to fall from her eye. Whisking the lone tear away with his thumb, he whispers, "I will always love you, no matter what." Not giving her a chance to respond, he gently sheathes her lips, in a searing goodbye kiss.

Immersing herself fully into the emotions flowing between the two, she doesn't realize he has enveloped her in a hug, until she tries to back away. "Andy?" She breathes breaking the kiss. Gazing into her eyes, he gives her his undivided attention. "I will always love you, too." She says pushing his arms from around her, as more tears threaten to fall.

Releasing her from the hug, he utters an audible sigh. Walking closer to the steps, she begins to release his hand. Squeezing her hand, he utters, "Sharon?" She releases his hand and refuses to look up, and utters, "Andy, please don't make this harder than it already is." He stays silent and watches as she makes her way down his front steps. As she disappears into the morning sunrise, he can feel the tears sting his eyes, but he can't tear his eyes away from the beautiful frame of the woman, whom he loves with all of his might.

Once she reaches her car, she looks back at him. They stare at each other for what seems like an eternity. Neither can muster up enough courage to say or do anything, until she opens her car door and slides in. Buckling up and preparing to back out, she can't bring herself to look at him; the man she loves with every fiber in her being. Turning her head to back out the driveway, she catches a glimpse of him, and the memories from last night come flooding back:

" _Sharon, what are you doing out in the pouring rain?" Andy inquires as he slides over to let her in._

 _Speechless, she steps towards him and places her hands on his face and pulls him into a searing kiss. Almost losing his balance, he steps back bringing her with him. She kicks the door closed. He pushes her against the door and deepens the kiss. Both moaning, as their tongues fight for dominance. Neither want to break the kiss, but the need for air becomes paramount. "Sharon, are you sure?" He breathes resting his forehead on hers. "Mmm, hmm." She mumbles as her hands travel under his thin t-shirt. "But I th..." He starts, but she interrupts, "I need this, Andy." She asserts pushing his shirt upwards. "Ok." He breathes helping her rid him of his shirt. Once the shirt is removed, he begins to trail kisses down her neck. Moaning in his ear, and trailing her fingers down his back, she hitches a leg around his waist. Pulling her into him more, he groans as she bucks into him. He begins to unbutton her cardigan with his teeth, eliciting moans from her. Continuing to divest her of her top, he reveals her lace bra, and drops her cardigan to the floor. Tracing her harden peaks through the lace confinement activates something deep within her. Moaning his name in octave he's never heard before, causes him to look up at her in admiration. They catch each other's eyes and stare into them for a moment before she breaks the trance. "Andy?" She utters._

" _Yes?" He responds, running his thumbs over her hip bones._

" _I want to remember this night for as long as I live." She whispers._

" _You will." He whispers, before placing a soft kiss on her lips. Releasing her lips, he glides her leg from around his waist and takes her hand and leads her to the bedroom._

 _Upon reaching the bedroom, he begins to trail kisses down her half naked form as he nudges her back towards the bed. Almost in sync with his ministrations., her moans fill the air. She reaches around to unclasp her bra before falling back onto the bed. Standing up as she lands on the bed, he allows his eyes to wonder over her body. He knows this is the last time he will be able to drink in her unabashed beauty. While he slowly leans down to remove her bottoms, her eyes are trained on his every movement. She wants to relish in every moment that this night will produce. As he pulls her bottoms completely off, he begins to press butterfly kisses up her legs. He watches as goosebumps develop on her skin, as he gets closer to her apex. Her arousal is evident and it's as if its's calling his name. Reaching her apex, he slowly relishes in the flavor of her, as she gasps and digs her nails into his scalp. Drenching her folds with every piece of passion in his body, as she moans and wiggles under his touch. He slowly brings her to her brink with his ministrations. As the waves begin to crash, he watches her in amazement. As she rides the end of her waves, he kisses his way up her trembling frame. Reaching her lips, she pulls him into an intoxicating kiss, consuming them both. Breaking the kiss, he breathes on her lips, "I love you." Gazing into his chestnut orbs, she whispers, "I love you, too." As she gazes into his eyes, she can see the hurt reflecting back. She understands how painful this must be for him, because it is ripping her to shreds. She begins to trail kisses along his jawline. As she makes her way down his neck, she marks him, causing him to grind into her. The friction of his boxers and rigid manhood, dying to be released, makes her unleash a guttural moan. She nudges him to lie on his back. As he falls backwards, she comes with him. Straddling him, she leans to his ear and whispers, "Thank you." She sits up and gazes into his eyes. "The pleasure is all mine." He utters gripping her thighs. Leaning down to envelop his lips in a firm kiss. As she dominates the kiss, he groans and bucks into her. Breaking the kiss, she begins to maneuver down his body. As she places feather light kisses down his body, he pads his fingers through her hair. Reaching the waistband of his boxers, she maneuvers them down with her teeth. As she pulls the material down, she cups him firmly, causing a gasp from him. Ridding him of the boxers, she trails her finger of his thigh. Slowly pulling his length into her mouth, she watches him as his eyes are trained on her. As she slowly brings him to his peak, their moans and groans are filter throughout the room. Tasting the beginnings of his explosion invading her mouth, she releases him with a loud pop and begins to make her way up his body. Pulling her to his face, arresting her lips with his, in a feverish kiss. Moaning into the kiss, she begins to roll her hips. Both needing more, she reaches between them and slowly slides him into her. "Mmm." She moans as she relishes in the sensation of their connection. Watching her every movement, he grips her thighs as he knows, how much she likes this particular position. She begins to slowly roll her hips, eliciting several moans from him. The slow pace doesn't last long as he begins to drive into her, as she matches his thrusts. Their sweat glistening bodies slowly begin to lose coordination as they both are nearing their climax. He sits up and pulls her into another searing kiss, as she wraps her legs around him and rides him into oblivion, as her head is thrown back. Raining kisses all along her neck, as they are teetering along the edge. "Look at me." He utters breaking the kiss. Opening her eyes, she pears into his as the first waves of her climax begin. "Andy!" She moans as he rocks into her one final time before he follows her over the edge. "I love you." He whispers as his fading strokes begin to falter. Falling back onto the bed, bringing her with him, he notices the tears in her eyes. As their breathing begins to regulate, he asks, "Sharon, are you 100% sure this is what we need to do?"_

" _Yes, Andy, I am." She breathes, tracing a pattern along his chest._

 _He says nothing and places a gentle kiss on her forehead._

" _Andy, let's just enjoy this." She breathes as she snuggles into him._

" _Ok." He agrees reaching for the duvet._

Driving down his street, she can see him in her review mirror. He has run into the street and is watching her disappear from his view.

As she turns the corner, her heart shatters into a million pieces.

" _Let this be our lesson in love  
Let this be the way we remember us  
I don't wanna be cruel or vicious  
And I ain't asking for forgiveness"_

 _ **~~~~~~~ERSL21~~~~~~~~~**_

Thank you for reading. I look forward to reading your nuggets of love. XOXO


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